Cry. Care. Conviction. The Cycle. Reflections by Swanette

There was a time when my life felt like a never-ending cycle.

Cry. Care. Conviction. Repeat.

I would love people deeply. I would care for them, pray for them, give to them, encourage them, and do everything I knew to do. Then I would cry over them. I would carry their burdens as if they were mine. I would grieve for their choices, for their pain, and for the lost places in their hearts.

Some were family by blood.

Others became family because I opened my heart and made room for them.

Because I loved them, I took their struggles personally. I believed that if I loved harder, prayed longer, gave more, or sacrificed enough, somehow things would change.

But love was never meant to become a burden I was created to carry.

The Bible tells us,

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

For a long time, I misunderstood what that looked like.

Love covers but it doesn't control.

Love forgives but it doesn't force change.

Love prays but it doesn't replace repentance.

That realization was both heartbreaking and freeing.

Today, I often find myself saying, "My tired is tired."

Not because I have stopped loving people.

But because I finally understand that I cannot do God's work for Him.

I can ask God, "Lord, give me the wisdom, the strength, the discernment, and the tools to love well."

But I cannot do the work that only He can do inside another person's heart.

I can only change me.

My will cannot be stronger than God's will.

That has been one of the greatest lessons of my in-between era.

I no longer play the role of savior.

I give people to God.

I don't even carry my own weight anymore.

Jesus already carried what I never could.

So why would I continue carrying weights that were never assigned to me?

The burdens others try to place on me...

I give them to God.

My fears...

I give them to God.

My grief...

I give it to God.

I still pray for others.

I still give.

I still care deeply.

But I no longer believe their healing depends on me.

It depends on God.

His name is Jesus Christ.

Salvation is not something we earn.

It is a gift of grace received through faith. We each must choose to seek Him, repent, and surrender our hearts to Him.

There is no greater love than the love of our Heavenly Father.

The more I know Him, the more I understand His promises.

The more I spend time with Him daily and intimately through His Word, the more I realize that His love is enough.

Sometimes I still cry.

I still grieve over lost souls.

I still wish I could fix what is broken.

Sometimes I wonder if I have done enough.

Then God gently reminds me:

You are enough because I created you.

You were never called to save everyone.

You were called to love them and point them to the One who can.

My worth is not measured by how many people I rescue.

My worth is found in the One who created me.

He formed me.

He crafted me.

He made me fearfully and wonderfully.

He made me uniquely.

And because I belong to Christ, I live without condemnation.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus... For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." Romans 8:1–2

So if you find yourself trapped in the cycle of cry, care, conviction, remember this:

Love them.

Pray for them.

Encourage them.

But don't carry what belongs to God.

Give it to Him.

Then continue becoming who He created you to be.

Reflection

Maybe today isn't about becoming someone else.

Maybe it's about becoming who God already created you to be.

So seek Him.

Know Him.

Trust Him.

Walk with Him.

And in the midst of your own in-between era...

Be you.

Beautifully evolving.

Uniquely created.

Deeply loved.

Still becoming.

And I like to add - Thank you to my husband, my bestie, the one who had always said I’m “Here” (even when I didn’t understand it) and given me much grace! Now I know- but GOD that It was God’s Love loving you through me in my Timeouts. A whole entire story/blog in the near future on “Here”) 🤭Love you Robert! 🖤🤍

Cry. Care. Conviction.